I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
