My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just want nice things and good sex
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
