Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
whose parrot is this?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
