somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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