dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
