Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
