he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
