According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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