You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You just made me feel so damn special
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
