she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
