Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
