...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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