my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
