"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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