So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
