awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
