How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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