my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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