He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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