yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
