but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
