today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
