We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
