Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
