Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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