It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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