so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
