i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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