I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
