I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
did i just pee glitter
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