Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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