i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
