hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
