I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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