Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
