I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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