If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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