I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
