That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
