While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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