What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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