so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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