I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
