Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
