I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
