Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
