Will you blow on my dice?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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