I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
