I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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