I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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