im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
