White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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