im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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